is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
