Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Welp...herpes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
