We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
