she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
