If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
