So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
