so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
