I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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