Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
