I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
