He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
