I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
