real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Drunk is not a location!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
