your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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