i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Still dying that you shit outside
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
