there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
