hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
