Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
