what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
