Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
