Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
