You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
they're like a gay fantastic four
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
