I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
