i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
