absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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