is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
