HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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