Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize