is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
