On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize