Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
