dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
