ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
