? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
