Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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