i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
