he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
