Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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