I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He kissed a someone with a penis
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
