I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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