been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
