I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
