You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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