it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
