1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
