I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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