im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
whose parrot is this?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
