yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
