i used baking grease as lip gloss
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
