this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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