Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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