I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
