Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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