last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Welp...herpes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who died my cat blue again?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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