So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
