Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
