and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize