I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
