I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
