good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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