How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
