I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this just has baby written all over it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
