bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
