so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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