hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
