my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
